Therapy for anxiety and self-esteem
How we lose our confidence
Early on in our lives, we learnt that we are not good enough. This message may have come as a result of being told directly that we are lacking in some for or another; or maybe we concluded ourselves from the way we were treated by the figures of authority in our lives. Over time, if we keep getting this message, eventually we absorb it and take it as a fact. It becomes a story we tell ourselves about who we are and about how we can expect the world around us to treat us. Tara Brach, the Buddhist teacher refers to it as the ‘trance of unworthiness’, as when we believe in our not-good-enoughness, we act as if we are on autopilot, unable to notice any evidence of the opposite. The more we tell this story, the more it follows us around in our relationships and at work.
Whatever the reason for seeking help, I would like to offer you a warm and safe space where you can be seen and heard.
I believe that we often carry with us stories and beliefs about ourselves that no longer serve us. Our suffering is an invitation to examine these stories and replace them with new ones that are aligned with our authentic self.
Feeling not good enough is one of those stories. It makes us feel small, vulnerable and out of touch with our inherent goodness. It can feel especially powerful if we’ve believed it for a long time.
I would like to offer you a space where your voice and feelings matter; one where the parts of you who have felt small can learn to let go of what they were once made to believe. As we do so, you will begin to find your confidence, strength and inner calm.
In order to make up for it, since we’re in this trance, we work extra hard…
… we become the best we can be at work, setting impossible expectations for ourselves
we become addicted to self-improvement - no matter how well we do, we tell ourcelves we could always do better
we compare ourselves to others and we mistrust our own intuition, ideas and feeling
… we doubt ourselves and we trust others more than we trust ourselves to tell us when we are enough
… we hide or avoid mistakes at all costs, in case others see our badness and reject us
… we don’t act on our dreams, on our creativity.
in Buddhism it is acknowledged that we are all a potential for goodness
How Psychotherapy Can Help
Therapy can help us clean the lenses through which we see ourselves. We do this by looking at your beliefs about yourself and how they colour how you act and feel in the world.
Therapy can be a powerful step toward healing and self-understanding. It works by:
Providing a safe and non-judgmental space where you can talk openly and be fully heard.
Helping you explore the roots of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.
Supporting you to develop new ways of managing emotions, stress, and relationships.
Giving you time and space to focus entirely on yourself.
With the right support, you may discover how much more there is to you. You don’t have to keep managing everything on your own. Together, we can find a way forward that helps you feel supported.
